The Lighter Side.

After last week’s post regarding my visit to Dachau, I changed it up this week and found fifteen of my favorite quotes – with many of them going back quite a few years.

“Here’s all you have to know about men and women: Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.”
—George Carlin

 “I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in a size too small yoga pants. Nobody cares.”
—Anonymous

“Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season. That’s for women. The beginning of the holiday shopping season for men is Christmas Eve.”
— David Letterman

“I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people. I said what I said, deal with it.” – Anonymous 

“I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.”
—Rodney Dangerfield

‘Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.” – Anonymous

 “Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.”
—Anonymous

 “I never forget a face—but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.”
—Groucho Marx

“There is one word that describes people that don’t like me: Irrelevant.”
—Anonymous

“Eggs are fantastic for a keto diet. If you don’t like the taste, just add cocoa, flour, sugar, butter, baking powder and bake at 375 for 30 minutes.”
—Anonymous

“Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Half-times take 12 minutes. This is not a coincidence.”
—Erma Bombeck

“Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.”
—Mortimer Brewster (Cary Grant), Arsenic and Old Lace

 “The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat. So people who don’t know what they’re doing, or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self.”
—Joe Fox (Tom Hanks, You’ve Got Mail)

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them. -Anonymous 

One day you’re 21 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 50 and eating salad with celery and kale juice. -Anonymous

I will check back with all of you on January 5th. Happy holidays, pay it forward and have a Funday Sunday.

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